Is Respect, Disrespectful?

enric@enricgine.cat

 Is Respect the same as Indifference?

The reason for this title is because when I was very young I read Plato’s dialogues , reading this book I saw how Socrates demonstrated to Plato a postulate that was very obvious to Plato and that Socrates said he did not know, but reasoning they could see that what was so clear, they turned it around and, after a deep reasoning, they found another reality. I would like to talk about Respect, but I can’t do that like Socrates because I’m not up to his level. However, I do want to use his system, his method, that of his deep reasoning, on this word. I, to make a somewhat controversial headline, have called it ” Is Respect Irresponsible or Disrespectful? “. Everyone knows what Respect is , right? Regarding the children, the wife, the husband, etc., etc. We could also be respectful of the environment, with plants, animals, etc. but in fact:

 To respect is to accept the opinion of another person, whether or not we agree with it , because a rough example of this respect can be political democracy. Political respect makes democracy work , that is to say, respect makes this balance hold the society of the western world that we know. First of all I want to clarify that for me respect is a synonym, nothing more , of many things. What happens is that we misuse the word respect. Respect can also be obedience ” and obedience to what? And here is its essence, why ? And here is the great, immense, intense meaning it has. The people in this world where we live immersed between civilizations, cultures, subcultures, nations, regions, peoples, religions, policies, beliefs, postures, attitudes, in short, each person has a way of seeing life, and the person who has side or the other side, or opposite part of the world, and who is in the east and what? As for what? Well, this… When we speak, we use words that don’t always mean the same thing as what we mean (“Numerical or Mathematical language” would be very good here) . Unfortunately we use one word when we should be using another. Respect is a way of seeing, experiencing, of convincing a very strong behavior, that another person is there, and that this person is fully convinced and without proving that this behavior is correct, but the person has this convention, and with this behavior in relation to another person who has or does not have the same convictions, the flame, respect. For example we use respect to say that we should get along. We must not confuse respect with, for example, a traffic law that respects the speed of traffic, or a law that you may or may not agree with, but that you must respect, because that’s what the authority says . Nothing happens if you go on a freeway that there is no one there, and there is a speed limit of 120 km per hour, and you go 130. Well, and this respect, it’s something else, isn’t it? Always agreeing with the elderly, whether or not we agree with what they say, is respect, isn’t it? I don’t agree with that, I do agree with my respect, that if I’m on the bus and there’s an old or elderly person, I’ll give them my seat, so that old person can rest, but even though the word respect is used, it is not respect, it is a synonym that instead of respect would be education or civility. You have to be very careful with this word, read this reflection, because it is very interesting, to see and understand how the word respect is something else than what we are used to. It is again a synonym. Many times the words we use are not the right ones, and we make a mess. I do an analysis in my own way and say what I think. It is clear that what I think is correct, otherwise, I would not write it, but I am aware that I am not necessarily right. Then I would be very, very grateful if someone who disagreed with my theories, and in this way shed light on some new and correct theories, would be fantastic… If he did not respect what I write and correct me , to be on the right track again.

Well, let’s get to the point. A parent loves their child very much. The boy, twenty-one years old, wants to leave his studies because he wants to live in India for a few years. The parents are people of good social status and do not like their son to go on adventures, as they want him to go to University and have a career so that he can have a good future for his son. Should they respect his decision? Or must they show their indifference as a person who did not know or love the child would? A wife tells her husband that she has found a young man, and that she wants a separation, should the man respect the woman’s decision? Or should he say that very well, that he respects the decision and in this way show indifference , which, moreover, is impossible to demonstrate , since if this man loves his wife, the more he loves her, it will be more difficult for him. It is clear that there is an attitude which is to talk to the stakeholders and tell them to think about it and try to influence. This weakens the word respect, because the word ” respect equals indifference “. A man who loves his wife is not indifferent, and his feelings are clearly disturbed by the situation, he cannot respect his wife. The situation would be very different if the man no longer loved his wife, or had another wife. Then I would respect that decision. A parent sees their child smoking and the child is young, fifteen years old. The father tells him that smoking is bad for his health and that he should not smoke, but the son ignores the parents and continues to smoke. Here we have another example of respect, should the father respect his son? Well, I think it will be proportional to the degree that the parents love their child. The more they love him, the less respect, and if they did not love him, more respect, although it is very difficult for parents not to love their child. With this example, it could be argued that the child is a minor, and that he should not smoke, but even if the child is 18, 20, 30 years old, it would be the same thing. When you love a person the most, you want the best for them and if you see that that is bad or harmful for them, you will do everything you can to influence them, that is, more love less respect and vice versa. Today this respect is accepted because there is nothing else to do. You can try to influence whatever you want and not like anyone else, but you can influence as long as you are within the law, or the current jurisdiction. These situations are extreme, but usually scenes of respect happen daily at home, on the bus, at work, with friends, in all our daily lives. It’s that we are very hardened, with this word and it really gives rise to a behavior that could be repressive, we repress ourselves, constantly talking about everything. For example, in football, we respect those who believe that Messi, or that other, is what makes Barça work or those who are from Madrid. We have our ideas, which are very clear and which are the best. We respect the others because they are silly and don’t deserve to share their ideas, since we almost always have to argue with them to get on our bandwagon. Now, however, we are tired and respect everything they say. A very common example is which TV channel should be watched when there are six in the family, who should suppress and show respect? They are small behaviors that happen every day, almost without us noticing, but it is nevertheless a giving and yielding of respect. A strong position is maintained or not towards the matter, the truth. However, when one has or believes to have a clear vision of a behavior, concept, principle, political, religious idea, and I could mention many more, it is more difficult to respect the idea of the interlocutor that is different from ours , and this will be inversely proportional to the emotional bond you have with this interlocutor. If the bond with the interlocutor is superficial, the respect will be total, if the bond with the interlocutor is very strong, the respect will be null. Therefore, respect equals indifference. You can’t tell a person with whom you have very strong ties that you don’t approve of what that person does even if you respect their decision, even though you know that that decision that you respect will be the ruin of the person you you love This respect therefore seems to be inconsistent. There are many moments where the word respect makes sense and it’s when we talk about football, politics, a thousand topics in society. We have the ideas we have, and we want all people to think like us, because we are us, and what we think today is the dogmatic truth, even if tomorrow we will have changed our criteria, because that’s life. This respect is what regulates society, because we cannot be arguing all the time from the time we get out of bed until we go to sleep. Then this respect that we call indifference is regulated automatically according to whether the person is accepted, or it is a family bond, or a friendship or simply a feeling . This will make the discussion and warm-up time shorter or longer. Respect is what regulates our daily life and we could also say that it regulates our democracy. And now I say to you: “you can respect me, if you agree with me”, of everything I am writing here, although it would not be respect, it would be to agree. But if you don’t agree with me, then you don’t have to respect me. Then you can do two things, either try to debate my argument or say nothing. If you do nothing, you mean that, your indifference, because you don’t care about anything, and this reinforces my theory, that the opposite of respect is indifference. To me, the respect I’m really interested in is when the bonds are strong, even if the laws that regulate it are the same as they are in both cases. In short, “more respect, more indifference”, and accepting this is not always easy, ” the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference .

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